How to have a Messy and Imperfect Thanksgiving

Hello my friends! Happy Friendsgiving! I like using this term as ‘Thanksgiving’ is starting to sound a little icky given the knowledge we now have on how it all went down eons ago.

At the risk of being hypocritical, I will say this. Even though I’m in my 50s, I still have such dreamy and yummy teenaged memories of our own Thanksgiving dinners over on Sheridan Road. I loved bringing out the table cloth from the linen drawer; carefully unpacking The Nice Dishes and the beautiful crystal glasses with the gold rims that we only used for these special occasions.

I loved waking up to smelling Althea’s spices dancing through the house, knowing she was at the stove prepping the homemade cornbread stuffing and that she and dad had been overseeing a turkey which had already been cooking since 5:00 am.

As I then left for college, Thanksgiving was that first trip back home, where everything was familiar and safe and free of collegiate demands. It was a moment to decompress and then go hang with high school friends at their family homes, or once I finally hit 21, to go to Sunnyside Bar. To me, that stuff is Thanksgiving and I do miss it.

Now, to today. To Friendsgiving. Matt and I are hosting our first one. It will be a combo of family and friends. We’re eating outside and I really don’t know how we’re going to get from this:

To this:

First of all, this ain’t happenin’. For one, I am not a white lady in a $200 jumpsuit, even though we all know I could rock that (ha!). What I do know is that I am inspired to make our space warm and inviting and cool. I am inspired by the cuteness of this table, and I may wear something vintage, just because it is fun to be silly and to dress for dinnah.

And fun fact: we have inherited Matt’s mom’s China. And what that really means is we have Charlotte’s set, her mother’s set, and a few pieces of her grandma’s set. That’s a whole lotta China! And I’ll be damned if we ain’t gonna use it at least one time a year. Just like the gold-rimmed glasses.

And before I go I want to point out something important.

While I have a certain amount of abundance right now, I also spent a few Thanksgivings home alone in an empty apartment. Sometimes by choice and sometimes not. This “holiday” of gratitude has a way of making you feel bad, like you ain’t got nothin’. No money to buy a stupid turkey. No family to go have a Hallmark dinner with. No friends who like you enough to invite you over. This day, and many holidays, while set up to be inclusive, are actually super exclusive. I don’t like that and the reason I don’t like that is because I don’t want others to feel bad. If this is you this year, don’t spiral. Keep your head up and just be you. This day is no different from the one before it and the one after. Step away from the TV, put your phone down and ignore the holiday messaging. Go for a walk or go to the movies. Turn on your favorite music and clean your bathroom or go through your sock drawer and get rid of any socks with holes in them (or find a needle and thread and fix them — I’m serious.) If you must eat something, grab some Pop-Tarts and some delicious sparkling wine from Trader Joe’s and celebrate what’s important: You.

I love all of you guys 🙂

And if you need some wine suggestions to drink by yourself or with friends, here is a Her Words His Wine article I wrote on MSN.com, “Winegiving during Friendsgiving“. Enjoy!